Hmm today is a sad, lonely, depressing day. I pretty much feel dry and broken. Sometimes I just wish I knew what it was that made me have these days so I could rid it from my life. God's grace is amazing, and he lifts me whenever I feel down .. but sometimes I feel so far away, and though I keep reaching, instead of Him getting closer, it seems like he only gets further away. It is really starting to bring out the "yucky" in my heart (as Amy would say! :))

Anyway, Project Respect is in it's new transition period. All of the old people are packing up and moving out, and the new people are moving in. Melissa was in the office today .. just to see her makes me want to cry. It's amazing how close you can get to a person, and then how quickly the get ripped away from you. I don't think I've opened up to a person like I have to Melissa ... hmm not even to Kerry which is amazing. And now .. now .. now she's gone. Sometimes I wish I could understand that rational of it all .. sit back and understand why everything happens as it does. If I could just have a glimps of what the future brings and how this had to happen in order for that to happen .. maybe .. just maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad. I wish I could pull her in close and show her the footprints she has left on my heart. Anyway, just because she's leaving Project Respect doesn't mean we won't talk or see each other. We will still email, talk on the phone, have lunch together etc .... it just isn't the same as seeing her everyday, and being able to talk to her in person whenever I wanted to. So many things left to tell her ... so many things she doesn't know. ahh *insert a deep sigh here* .. *add a cello for a sad impression*

Well, on a lighter, not so depressing, note, I met with Brenda Brenda Brenda last night for ice cream! :-) hmm I'm pretty sure I love that woman! I felt like I hadn't talked to her in FOREVER .. haha and I was actually nervous driving to her house! That's just insane! I thought I was past that stage! Anyway, our little meeting went well! Yummy ice cream .. great conversation ... haha and of course a lot of laughs ... and much to my surprise no tears on her part! That's pretty much a miracle! .. seeing how she ALWAYS cries! haha so I've given her a new nick name! It's Brenda"sir cries a lot, i worry all the time, please don't steal my identity" Clark! :-) haha long story, but it was hilarious to say the least! We talked about pretty much everything on could imagine talking about ... updated each other on important people in our lives .. watched Big Brother ... haha created her a myspace account (that was insane!) .. and just spent time together .... much needed time on my part! So yeah, it was great!

Hmm well now that I've gone from sad to happy all in one post, I hope everyone has a fantabulously splediferous day!!!! (as lissa would say! :))

*luvs
Jackie